Why I stopped blogging...for now

Several people have asked why I stopped posting, so I thought I'd give my answer, even though it's been several months! But prepare yourself...this is a super long post:

In June, Ethan and I went on vacation with some friends. While packing, my thought was, "My outfits have to be super cute because I'll need outfit photos for the blog." What? This was vacation! Why was I working? So, I decided not to worry about it too much and just be myself and be comfortable. And I very much enjoyed the break from thinking about the blog.

When we got home, I just took a little break from blogging regularly. I posted some, just not as much as normal. However, I felt this pressure on me to always look a certain way. I felt like if I just wanted to wear jeans and a plain t-shirt, it wasn't good enough. People were literally coming by my office asking to see what I was wearing and I just felt so much pressure to always look perfect. That is not a way to live!

So, I just stopped. It bothered me because I have never really cared much what people thought about my clothes. I just wore what I liked and what I thought looked interesting and I was always happy with that. So when I started caring about the opinion of others and started dressing to satisfy the blogosphere,  I decided that enough was enough.

You know what? I really liked not blogging every day.

Then I started feeling really run down. Like, exhausted all the time, from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep. Just utterly exhausted. I thought I was just stressed (July was shaping up to be pretty crazy). But it wasn't getting better, and after several weeks of feeling this way, I went to the doctor who tested my iron and as it turned out, I was iron deficient. Simple answer! YAY! I began taking vitamins as suggested by my doctor, but then started feeling even worse.

I was throwing up, had a terrible headache, bad stomach pain, and the exhaustion was worse. I couldn't sleep well (only about 3-4 hours per night) even though I was horribly tired. I could barely walk around. All I could do was lay on the couch. I went back to the doctor, but all my blood work was normal. The only explanation I could think of was that I was pregnant, which would have been a surprise. Pregnancy tests came back negative. I finally made my yearly appointment with my OB/GYN and he confirmed that I was not pregnant, however, this weird rash that had appeared the day before looked suspiciously like shingles. What?

I went back to my general practice doctor and he confirmed the shingles diagnosis, which explained all the stomach pain and upset, headache, and severe exhaustion. But seriously, who gets shingles?! Apparently, stress can be a cause of shingles in people my age. So I took seriously the suggestion to whittle down my calendar to the essentials only, which was very difficult for me, and to rest a lot. I learned a lot during that time of being sick with the shingles (about 6 weeks total); to rely on people, take time for myself, spend a lot of time with the Lord, and keep my priorities in line.

Right before I went to the OB/GYN, I found a small lump in my breast. Kind of felt like a tiny marble. I have been in the practice of self exams ever since my mom found out she had breast cancer 6 1/2 years ago. You are never to early to start! I asked my doctor about it and he wasn't worried at all, but he did order a mammogram for when I was healthy again from the shingles.

I made my appointment at the Breast Center to have a mammogram and sonogram (exciting, right?) and  was so nervous, I could hardly stand it. What if they didn't like the look of it? What if it was cancer? What is something is wrong with me?! Ethan took me to my appointment and I had the best doctor! She took one look at the "mass" and said it looked totally normal, but since I have a history of breast cancer in my family, she wanted to do a biopsy of it.

I had the biopsy procedure this past Thursday, which involved making a tiny little incision and taking 3 core samples of the mass. I'll spare you the details, but it was a quick and easy procedure and if you EVER need a breast center, I will highly recommend Dr. Talwar to you. She and her team were unbelievable. I cannot praise them enough!

I received the results this morning and everything's fine!!! The samples came back as benign and the doctor is not at all concerned (she never really was, actually). I have a follow up appointment in April just to make sure everything still looks good, but again, they are not worried about it. I'm so thankful to be done with the waiting and praising God for good results!

All that to say, taking a break from the blog has been a good thing for me. I might pick up posting again, but it will be as I want it and when I have time. So, thanks for reading. Thanks for caring. And if you made it this far in the post, you are a trooper! I'll post another time about all the things I learned during the past few months. It would be crazy not to share it all. God has been so good to Ethan and me.

Have a great day, friends.